terracinque: (bridesmaid revisited)
[personal profile] terracinque
I retrieved an email this morning from an ex-girlfriend. Not just any ex-girlfriend, either: this is the one who betrayed me in ways I'm still trying to understand. The one who's responsible for all the reluctance to trust or to commit with every woman I've dated since then.

She tells me she "owes me an explanation" for her behavior, and that she's "remorseful." Great, if true, but at the moment I don't believe her. She always had an ulterior motive. Everything she ever did for or to me was a manipulation or exploitation of some kind. She was never honest about anything.

Or, if she's sincere this time, I'm thinking it's got something to do with the WTC/Pentagon attacks. They've made many people sentimental, some to the point that they're reaching out to past emotional ties, especially veterans.

Or maybe it's because she's pushing forty. She's probably gone through several other men in the past five years, her clock's winding down and now she's trying to rebuild bridges.

In any case, I'm not sure what I should do. I know what I will do, which is write back and ask for that "explanation," because my curiosity is piqued. But I don't really want to hear from her again and have all those old feelings stirred up again.

In the end I'm sure this is all just one more manipulation.

July 2010

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