terracinque: (bridesmaid revisited)
I know this is an old question, but I still want it answered. Why do women claim that all they want is "a nice guy with a good sense of humor" when that's so clearly a lie?

Every woman who's ever dumped me told me, beforehand, what a great guy I was and how wonderfully different I was from the assholes they'd dated in the past.

I want answers, damnit. If I have to be an asshole so I don't grow old alone, I need to start learning as soon as possible.
terracinque: (bridesmaid revisited)
Apologies for the incredibly trite subject line. I'm feeling pretty good right now. Not 100%, but the best yet since Aimee dropped her "I need some time on my own" anvil on my head.

One good thing about moving to Dumpsville is that you've got more free time, and my weekend was pretty full.

Friday: After work I ran six miles, then went to the Fishbone Gallery for an opening. I'd met one of the artists, Ilene, at a Super Bowl party, and we had a lovely chat. I didn't buy any of her works, because her art is abstract which isn't to my taste. She respected that and didn't get pissy, and I respected that. She's someone who could be a new friend; I hope I see her again. That's an open question because she lives OTP (shudder).

After the gallery I went to a party at my friend Sim's house. We listened to music while watching the opening ceremonies from Salt Lake. Then I went home.

Saturday: I woke up, read for a while (and finished The Endurance by Caroline Alexander), then went to the hash, which turned out to be about four miles. Afterward, I found myself at a Mexican restaurant alone with Gary. I spoke with him about Aimee for a while, and I think he guided me toward an epiphany of sorts.

Then on to the monthly party at Jim Davies's house. He showed me several of his paintings inspired by Pac-Man, all of which are from the ghosts' point of view. Geez! Improv comedian, swing dancer, painter, AI researcher: I wish I could be half as productive or diversified as Jim.

Sunday: I ran three miles, then did the Black Sheep hash, which was another 4.1 miles (according to the hares). Aimee had said she'd be there, so I was dreading that, but then she didn't show, but that didn't make me feel any better.

Yesterday I took the day off work (previously scheduled on account of Mardi Gras, but I decided not to go). I wasn't very productive with that day, but that's okay too. It was some Glenn time.
terracinque: (bridesmaid revisited)
I retrieved an email this morning from an ex-girlfriend. Not just any ex-girlfriend, either: this is the one who betrayed me in ways I'm still trying to understand. The one who's responsible for all the reluctance to trust or to commit with every woman I've dated since then.

She tells me she "owes me an explanation" for her behavior, and that she's "remorseful." Great, if true, but at the moment I don't believe her. She always had an ulterior motive. Everything she ever did for or to me was a manipulation or exploitation of some kind. She was never honest about anything.

Or, if she's sincere this time, I'm thinking it's got something to do with the WTC/Pentagon attacks. They've made many people sentimental, some to the point that they're reaching out to past emotional ties, especially veterans.

Or maybe it's because she's pushing forty. She's probably gone through several other men in the past five years, her clock's winding down and now she's trying to rebuild bridges.

In any case, I'm not sure what I should do. I know what I will do, which is write back and ask for that "explanation," because my curiosity is piqued. But I don't really want to hear from her again and have all those old feelings stirred up again.

In the end I'm sure this is all just one more manipulation.

July 2010

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